Just gonna put this out there because a lot of people don’t understand and it can be extremely detrimental to someone who is trying to recover;
Please don’t comment on weight gain.
Please don’t say how ‘much better’ or ‘healthier’
Please try to steer comments of how someone is progressing away from appearance.
We know, we know we look different. We know because we climb on scales twice a week under professionals close watch. We know when we tackle 6 meals a day and vigilantly ensure we try for at least an hour post every meal.
An eating disorder is the over evaluation of weight and shape, so in recovery, we are encouraged to NOT focus on those things.
Things that can really help;
Commenting on how much more engaged in a conversation someone is.
Reminding them how their laugh is real now, and their smile not forced.
Emphasising that they are still worthy, and their weight and shape doesn’t change who they are as a person.
Not treading on egg shells with them around food, we want a normal relationship with it and acknowledge that it is part of living.
Helping them see the future, plans out with food, meals, appointments etc.
Telling them how nice it is to see them out and living, doing things, being with people.
Basically, please don’t emphasise physical changes. It can set people back, I’ve seen it happen and also felt the sharp end of it. Trust me, we know. And we are trying to get on with it. Weight restoration in recovery is a horrendously difficult process, psychologically and physically, and support is valued massively, but please don’t comment on it. Remember, physical changes are a minute part of recovery. The body goes faster than the mind. Even when restored to a physically healthy place, the person will still need a lot of support, and will still be struggling, probably even more so.
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