To the people that think anorexia is a choice
Oh I wish you were right.
I wish I could simply dip in and out of this beast however I pleased
I wish I could live life without a doubt.
There is no choice to this pain,
No ache for the suffering it induces.
Little understanding of why it chose me, or why it won’t let go
And all you think is it’s my choice, my lies or excuses.
The pain of anorexia is far from a choice.
Do you know what it’s like to be unable to let yourself stop?
To stop and rest, breath and feel okay?
To attempt to sit down for a measly hour
And be consumed by anxiety more exhausting than being active, and still feel the eating disorders dismay?
Do you know what it’s like to see people around you
Eating food without a second thought.
The jealously erupting inside of me, crying
Why cannot I just simply eat like that
Why can I not block the voice,
Why can’t I just EAT
Why can’t I just rest
Why why why can’t I just be well.
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