What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see the smile I force
The act I play
The show I try to display.
Do you see the im fine, I promise
The im coping, dont worry
Do you see my eyes cast downward
The way when you question me,
I deflect in such a hurry.
Or do you see me
The broken, lost girl I am
Seemingly frozen in time
And unable to break free
From the cage constructed so tightly around me.
Tell me, do you see my struggles
The way I beg myself to keep going
To maintain this picture that
I’m in some way coping.
Do you see the way I cover my ears
And close my eyes
In an attempt to convince myself
This is a horrible nightmare, it’s not real
That I’m begging myself to wake up
And it to be surreal.
Do you see the way I talk myself down
Breathe in, breathe out
Because I’m at the point I’m having to remind myself
How to merely survive.
Do you see the little girl
That’s scared of her own shadow
Do you see how desperate she is
For a life away from pain and hurt
But doesn’t know who to turn to
Who to trust or believe
Do you see the way she’s stopped smiling
And appearing in the photos
Do you see the way she hides in joggers and hoodies
And puts on these 24 hour shows
Of how she’s fine, okay, doesn’t want to talk
How she’s losing her sparkle
And will to keep living
If you look through the mask
You’ll see she’s dying.
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