Anorexia, an abusive partner - poem

You shout

I cower 

You mock

I lower my head

You call

I come

You put me through hell

Make me wish I was dead. 

You whisper 

Conspire and tease

Manipulate and deceive. 

You lure me into your traps 

You force me with your icy talons

You blind me, gag me, hold me down

Treading water isn’t possible

When you’ve tied bricks to my feet

I sink, I drown. 

You’ve caught me in a vortex of pain

Vicious cycles and constant pressure

I go at 100mph to try and keep up

I fear your displeasure 

Your explosive temper and vile words

Your critique and abuse 

I’m a puppet on strings 

A dog in an electric collar

You convince me that 

I am in control

When really, you call all the shots

You force me to say and do

Keep me awake with your plots. 

Trapped in a cage

You’ve woven so tightly

You force me to believe

That this is my worth, my reality. 

Your words are cutting

You know all my secrets

You pour salt into wounds

And laugh at my weakness. 

You’ve battered me down

To nothing and no one 

The scars on my skin 

Are the only visible  sign 

Of The years spent

At the mercy of your torture 

But no mark could ever show

The true extent 

Of the damage of your words

Your actions and power 

Your cohesive control

That contorted my life

And strangled my soul