My world is tinted with rituals and rules

Arbitrary numbers and constraints that confuse

Other may look at me with bewilderment wnd worry

I wish I could explain what it’s like to live in this flurry

Of things that rationally I know do not matter

How many times I touch the light switch or 

Or what times I can drink water. 

I wish there was a way of explaining the torment when

I even consider opposing the voices

The panic, distress and anxiety that swirls around inside

Simply at the idea of making different choices. 

Because that’s what it is to others - a choice

It is just an arbitrary number

Just a four or a five

It’s just a light switch

Or an apple

Or a walk or a drive. 

I can’t explain, so I shan’t

But hear me when I say

I’d do anything to be free from the rules

To live a different pathway.