The truth is,
there is comfort in being unwell.
That I think it is what I deserve
to toil in this hell.
Anorexia conspires and makes you believe
that when your body holds up,
everyone will think you are healed.
How can I admit that I am scared
Of the voice in my head being louder
but my body looking better
That the body malfunctioning is easier to understand
it takes less explanantion
and people hold your hand.
My mind scares me
a deep vortex of things I do not know
I am afraid to be me wholefully
So instead, I simply plateau.
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