Please let me go

 How to find the right words for you

I don’t even know where to start 

You’ve exhausted me, yet again 

I cannot fathom how you are still in my life. 

I fought you for so long and I was doing okay

I had no idea of the games you were playing 

You made me feel I was winning, like I was strong

You made me think I was safe from you and your ugly talons. 

I am so tired of your games and you voice and your orders 

I am exhausted of the games you play, the box you’ve trapped me in, my whole life you have contorted 

You fill my head with meaningless numbers, arbitrary rules and compulsions 

And I am left feeling just stupid as I obey, utterly controlled 

And left feeling beyond exhausted. 

I want to turn to you and say enough is enough

This isn’t who I am meant to be 

I want to scream, cry, shout at the top of my lungs

To please let me go, let me be free. 

The trap you have name tangled in is not that simple 

It’s not a case of me simply deciding to go 

It is a cobweb of wishes and fears and realities 

That I just don’t feel strong enough to deal with.