Wednesday, January 5, 2022

I'm taking my life back

 You made me feel like a puppet on strings

For months and months you played with me,

Pushed me around, wore me down

Nudging me closer to the edge

Watched me sink and drown. 


It scares me how close it’s gotten

My mental and physical health

You tried to kill me, yet again

And I was utterly captured under your spell. 


The idea of recovery felt aloof as you took every inch of energy I had 

I didn’t feel deserving or worthy or just 

And I was terrified of your abuse, I was terrified of hurting. 

I didn’t know what to believe or trust. 


Today I took a step against you and honestly

I am scared 

What if I’m not enough without you? 

What if it goes wrong, and I fail? 

What if I’m broken beyond repair? 


But what if it goes right and I learn to stand against your voice

What happens if we part ways

Because that’s all I’ve ever wanted. 

To be free from you and your lies

To be free to live my life. 

So maybe this unease is a good sign

Maybe it’s a sign of change

Maybe this is time I tell you to fuck off

It’s my life, not yours. The end. 

No comments:

Post a Comment