You made me feel like a puppet on strings
For months and months you played with me,
Pushed me around, wore me down
Nudging me closer to the edge
Watched me sink and drown.
It scares me how close it’s gotten
My mental and physical health
You tried to kill me, yet again
And I was utterly captured under your spell.
The idea of recovery felt aloof as you took every inch of energy I had
I didn’t feel deserving or worthy or just
And I was terrified of your abuse, I was terrified of hurting.
I didn’t know what to believe or trust.
Today I took a step against you and honestly
I am scared
What if I’m not enough without you?
What if it goes wrong, and I fail?
What if I’m broken beyond repair?
But what if it goes right and I learn to stand against your voice
What happens if we part ways
Because that’s all I’ve ever wanted.
To be free from you and your lies
To be free to live my life.
So maybe this unease is a good sign
Maybe it’s a sign of change
Maybe this is time I tell you to fuck off
It’s my life, not yours. The end.
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