How can I admit
That I don’t want to par take in life right now
That the pressure and constraints of everyday
Feel like twisting and turning in my stomach and head
And that I look at other people who laugh and smile
And feel nothing but confused as to how they seem to feel so at ease
Because this world overwhelms me
And I cannot find the balance
I can’t seem to slow down and calm the unrest
And everytime it leads to such distress
And I want to say that I am tired, tired of trying to fit in
Constantly trying to please and appease.
How can I admit that sometimes it is easier
To simply withdraw
To give myself over to an illness
That I know wants to steal my soul.
How can I admit that I want that emptiness
Because it feels calmer than the war
That the numb, quiet, self destruction feels safer
Than this world, than people, and correlating uproar.
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