I concede - poem.

If this is a war, I concede. 

I’m too tired to continue 

I try and beg for you to understand

Without trying to be an issue

But please hear me

I am so tired

I can’t take another day. 

I’m so lost in this world that’s too big

I try and hold on with anything, 

But I feel beaten from deep within. 

Any last strength has been worn

The hope has faded 

All I can consider

Is how to end this. 

Selfish I know

I hate myself too. 

I don’t want to be a problem

I’m tired of being an issue. 

I’m never enough 

I’m always failing

I try to please everyone

But the truth is I’m breaking. 

I can’t keep holding on for this safe life I’m promised

When all I’ve ever known is danger and pain

How can I trust anyone anymore

I’m trying to refrain;

From shutting down completely 

Withdrawing to my bubble

If no ones in, no one can hurt me

I’ll be free from it all. 

And I know that’s not real

It’ll all be there

Because that’s just how things go for me

And you question why I despair. 

3/11/17